Decisions
by Friezaess
Summary: Heero is being forced to answer 'yes' or 'no' to a heartbreaking question. How will this effect Duo? A very sad ficlet, and my very first shounen-ai ^.^ 1+2, guys in love with eachother, you know the drill.


_~*DECISIONS*~_  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing- shock, horror!  
  
AN: Alternating points of view. *Astricts* indicate thoughts.  
  
  
_~*~_  
  
  
HEERO'S POV  
  
I don't want to do it. I can't say 'yes', Duo. Can I? We have been through Heaven and Hell together, and I don't want to let go of you now.   
  
Everyone around me has been saying that I should learn to let things take their course. But throughout my entire life I have been told that I can change things in this   
world, that I can change the course of the future. Then again, I guess that's what all soldiers are told. Either way, I just don't think I can say 'yes'.  
  
I love you, Duo, do you hear me?! And it is because of my love for you that I can't say 'yes'.  
  
  
_~*~_  
  
  
Quatre looked at the clock in the hospital's waiting room. Heero had been visiting Duo for over three hours. Sighing, he got up from the chair he was sitting on and   
made his way down one of the long, white corridors. Trowa and Wufei had both left several hours ago, each wearing an expression of grief. But Quatre was not   
about to go and leave Heero in his time of need. It seemed as though the Japanese pilot's newly found affection for his braided comrade had blinded him to the   
reality of the situation- not an uncommon occurrence for those whose hearts have finally found someone to love.  
  
04 approached one of the doors along the corridor and knocked silently. As he had expected, no one answered. On his own initiative, he quietly opened it and   
found Heero sitting next to Duo's hospital bed, stroking his lover's still hand.  
"Heero?" He softly asked. When there was no response, the blonde took a few steps closer and put a hand on his friend's shoulder.   
"Heero," he repeated, "you know you can't keep him here forever. Maybe you should say 'yes'."  
"I can't, Quatre," came the reply after a short pause. "How can I possibly condemn him to death like that?"  
"But you don't understand. You wouldn't be condemning Duo to death. He's… he's not there anymore."  
The perfect soldier turned away, his expression indifferent.  
"You have to know he's not there," Quatre continued. "The only things making him look as though he still is are these machines. His soul has found peace…   
and the only way you yourself can find peace is if you tell them 'yes'."  
  
A long silence hung over the room, mixed with grief and sadness. Neither warrior was willing to comment further on the situation, and both wanted nothing more   
than to see those warm, violet eyes open once again. Quatre was about to leave the Wing pilot alone again, when a soft but distinct sob broke the silence.  
"Heero…?" The Arabian put a hand on 01's shoulder, feeling a dull ache in his chest as he did so.   
"I… I know he's not there anymore," Heero said, quickly suppressing the shakiness that was present in his voice, "but if I tell them 'yes', then… then he really   
will be gone. I know I should, but I love him so much! It's not fair, he should be here with me!"  
  
Quatre pulled his comrade into a warm embrace, letting Heero find comfort in his friendship. Small sobs were evident in the Japanese boy's jagged breathing, but   
no tears fell. Not from the perfect soldier who had never learned how to cry. The pair stayed like this for some time, until Heero managed to calm himself down.   
Quatre took a step back, but still kept his hand firmly on the other's shoulder.  
"I know it's a difficult decision, Heero," he said, "and none of us are going to force you to say 'yes' or 'no'. But I think that if you look within your heart, you'll   
know what to do."  
  
The mousy-haired boy sighed and stared at his feet, his hand still wrapped around Duo's.  
  
_~*~_  
  
HEERO'S POV  
  
I don't want to let you go, my love. But… you're already gone, aren't you? Your soul has already detached itself, leaving your body behind with all these   
machines hooked up to it. I know in my heart that you're happier now, playing amongst the angels. Do you miss me as much as I miss you?  
  
It's true. You really are gone- I can feel the emptiness in my heart that could only be filled by your presence. I… I'll tell them 'yes'. It's the right thing to do, I guess.   
I will let your body die with dignity instead of attached to all these machines. They tell me I'll find peace once I come to accept your leaving me. The thing is, I   
don't think I'll ever be able to accept it. Still, I know this is what you would have wanted, Duo, even if you were as foolish to do what you did.  
  
_~*~_  
  
"Yes."  
A short pause.  
"Are you sure, Heero?"  
"I'm sure. Tell them 'yes'."  
Quatre, almost reluctantly, pressed the small red button on the wall next to Duo's bed. Soon after, a nurse was in the room. She greeted them, before turning to   
Heero.  
"Have you made your decision yet, Mr. Yuy?"  
He sighed sadly, cobalt eyes still focused solely on his shoes.  
"I've had lots of time to think about it, and I've decided that… yes. You should do it."  
The nurse nodded.  
"If you're certain that's what you want to do…"  
*I'm not certain. I don't want to say goodbye.*  
"I'm certain."  
"…Alright."  
  
The nurse reached over and flicked off a switch. As soon as she did, the life support machines that were regulating Duo's breathing and heartbeat ceased   
functioning. A long beep emitted from the heart monitor, piercing both Gundam pilots' own hearts, before it too was switched off. Without the help of the machines,   
Duo's chest stopped rising and falling. All was silent.  
  
"I'll leave you two alone," the nurse said, turning and exiting the room. After a minute, Quatre excused himself so he could phone the other pilots to inform them   
that the life support had been turned off. Only Heero remained, still holding his dead lover's hand.  
  
_~*~_  
  
HEERO'S POV  
  
I know in my heart that this was the right thing to do, but it still doesn't make this any easier. I'll always love you Duo, no matter what. I just wish that you'd told   
me why you were so sad, instead of leaving me to read the details of your depression in a note.   
  
I wish that I could have helped you deal with your suffering.  
  
I wish that I had hidden all the sleeping pills you took…  
  
_~*~_  
  
  
  
_~*OWARI*~_ 


End file.
